The Daily Mail had some online festive fun at the expense of Bents Garden & Home, in a report by Jan Moir sending up its “wagtastic Christmas decorations”.

“In Bents Garden & Home Centre, just outside Warrington, nothing says Christmas more than a themed 10ft fake fir tree, covered in polystyrene animals and a thousand baubles, hosed down with glitter and ostrich feathers,” the report gushed.

It said Megan Davison, fiancee of Everton and England goalkeeper Jordan Pickford, has already shown off her Bents tree on Instagram (pictured); a marvel of sparkly fauna including polar bears, penguins, hedgehogs, butterflies and horses.

“It’s hard to work out what her festive theme is, but Polar Roadkill must be a contender,” jibed the writer.

The report claimed “chief Wag Coleen Rooney” buys her tree and trimmings at Bents every year: in 2016 she apparently went for an owl theme, with a tree “covered with dozens of Bents snowy owls who looked startled to find themselves perched en masse in the Rooney sitting room”.

The Mail’s correspondent was clearly overwhelmed by Bents’ award-winning displays but did admit that “while some might say Bents is a place where good taste comes to die — a torrid snowscape of stuffed reindeers, pre-lit plastic icicles and frosted unicorns — others adore roasting their eyeballs on this festive fiesta of sparkle and preposterous bling, marvelling at the excess”.

Bents, the report notes, is in a prime position to capture “the Wag trade…The footballers’ enclaves of Alderley Edge and Wilmslow lie to the south, groaning with McMansions which are crying out for blingtastic festive décor”.

There is a mention, too, of Bents bespoke Christmas at Home service, offering a decorating team to install and fully dress the tree of your dreams, with prices ranging from £1,500 to £3,500 and beyond, depending on bauble density.

How the other half live, eh?